Arena

Floro's The Party Got Cancelled Reviews - Arena

Samuel L. Jackson, a shirtless Twilight vampire, the Asian guy who's in Lost and Hawaii Five-O, Someone that I assume is a cop in Dexter (among a million other things. James Remar. You've seen or heard him in things. I promise), and briefly the girl from Vampire Diaries, team up for this direct to video action/slasher/bloodfest debacle. I really think this was going to be a theatrical release, and then someone said, "Wait a minute....you want to do what? All of these people are too popular to be seen in a thing like this." They were right, and thankfully kept Arena out of the theatres.

Arena is a little bit of Saw plus a lot of The Running Man, and maybe a little Truman Show. It's definitely not hiding from an R rating. There are a handful of blatant nods to other movies interspersed amongst the gore (I counted at least Silence of the Lambs, Roots, Cool Had Luke, and Office Space) . But there's gore for sure.

Kellan Lutz is a nobody/rugby player/fireman/paramedic/former Marine who suddenly has no reason to live. He is kidnapped by Samuel L Jackson as a new combatant for the aptly named internet broadcast "Death Games". Broadcast in a green screen magic room that can make weapons and objects appear because Samuel L. Jackson effing says so. And how else can you go from samurais to World War 2 soldiers to...fighting construction workers? (Yes that too.) For reasons unknown, Kellan Lutz is a super fighter who now has to fight to survive for vengeance, all without a shirt whilst getting tased a lot.

This was half the story board for this movie

There isn't much room for acting in this one. Of course, Samuel L. Jackson uses this opportunity to go so far over the top it skips clean over insane and into the realm of comic book villain crazy. Lutz does his job well, but his job encompasses not wearing a shirt, flexing, and yelling, usually while covered in red dye. Actually, most people don't wear shirts in this movie, so that talent's even less unique.

To make this movie more tolerable, the drinking rules are:
- Drink on all kills. Obviously.
- Drink when Samuel L. Jackson wears a different suit.
- Drink when someone gets tased
- Drink when you're impressed by the crazy push-ups Lutz does.
- Bonus: Drink on shots of Lutz's feet. They happen more than you'd think.

Beer helps this one. So very much.

This actually could have pulled off a theatrical release if they dialed back the torture/blood/nudity, and gave Lutz more of a character with a back story so we cared. It wouldn't take much for it to have been a low to mid performer at the box office. They could've sold an extra week by advertising a twist that makes no sense near the ending that makes no sense. It's budgeted and produced like a theatrical release. It's only worth the price of admission if you already pay for Netflix Instant and have alcohol to be drinking. Otherwise, really don't.