Lost - s1 ep 4 and 5

It has been a long day, so I just wrote thoughts as I watched these two epsides. I'm starting to learn characters enough to actually refer to them by name, and then immediately give them a new nickname. Jackson and the dogs were having a snoring competition throughout, so the noises of the jungle were in free stereo surround sound for me! Let's do this!

Episode 4 - In which Locke becomes the most interesting character that cannot develop any further.

I like the idea of Locke trying to be all he can believe of himself, and no one else knowing the truth (so far) about his mindset or his definitely fake leg(s)?. I have bought in to him more than Kate/Jack and Sayid, because he's very believable.

OK so I guess he can be interesting because he saw the What-Is-Currently-A-T-Rex.

Also his ability to conjure oranges in his mouth is pretty cool

Jack is going nuts because he's seeing his accountant in the distance. When he gets home, he's going to owe sooooo many taxes.

Druggie Hobbit got duped by TakenGirl for a fish. Too bad for us. He was fun when he was all gushy. Also she sucks as a human.

Oh. Locke's obvious "don't tell me what I can't do!" thing makes everything messed up now because he was in a wheelchair, not just using prosthetics. But he can walk fine, because plane crashes do that to people. So really, he's like Professor X in the Savage Lands. Or he's actually quite dead.

My baldy-sense is saying...there are not enough orange slices here

Key things:
- The dog is fine
- The (currently) Only Black Guy Dad got hurt, so he's at least 0.2 points dead, filling visual media union regulations for "kill or wound a minority for going some place with a white main character" for now.
- Crazy Black Lady who lost her husband has given us enough excuse to introduce another 50 characters at a later part because her husband is not gone. She said so. Therefore her remaining lines until that point will all be "he's not gone.", and then "told you so" when they find that second group of survivors.

Current Theory:
Sticking with the Sixth Sense thing.

Episode 5 - In which Jack decides that he has issues and they are resolved.

Opens with unknown female extra #3 drowning horribly. Jack randomly saves Vampire Diaries who NO ONE SAW OR HEARD FROM until Jack dove under the water to find the girl. VD (heh) is remarkably fine for drowning, and they have a nice chat on their way back to shore. Jack is haunted by that weird funeral director. (ooooo I like that better than accountant)

TakenGirl is the only one who can change outfits, and thinks giant hoop earrings of that size go with it. None of the men complain. Oddly, no women seem to either.

Great. Doesn't-Get-Pregnancy Girl is an astrologist. This we needed.

I've decided I really like count of people left alive from Battlestar Galactica more than randomly discussing headcount in Lost. Gimme a made up number at the start of every episode with some weird vocalising behind it. Make this happen, 2004 J.J. Abrams.

Battlestar was on the same years as Lost. This should've been easy.

Jack's dad is my new favorite background character. "You stood up for a friend, and got your face punched in. Clearly, you don't have what it takes to be as awesome as I am when I let children die in surgery. Now leave Daddy alone with his Scotch. The stink of failure coming off you is turning it sour." I hope next time we see him he takes kid Jack's Frosted Flakes saying, "Deliciousness is for winners. Sack up."

Is the funeral director Jack's dad? Unacceptable. This is no longer fun. This is now Freud's problem. Where's my T-Rex? Bring back the T-Rex!

Eh. Close enough.

OK, fine, I do want to know what Jack/his Dad did to ruin eveything. I have 111 episodes to find out, I guess.

Still, for a "doctor", Jack is pretty dumb. If this is really a jungle island, Jack is also now dead. Even when he climbs up this cliff he nearly fell off with the help of his ghost dad, he's been running alone in the woods while no one looks for him. He's exhausted and dehydrated and vastly sleep deprived and he just rolled down at least 30 feet of rocky hill.

Oh, it's Professor X instead of ghost dad to the rescue. Fine, he can find and survive anything. DON'T TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN'T DO!

I've decided it is going to be sad when Druggie Hobbit's contract runs out I mean he dies heroically.

Why did Hawaii Five-O suddenly understand English when the Hot Girl Leader said it? You know what, nevermind. This actually makes plenty of sense.

X asks Dr.J "Why are you out here?". I said "You can read his mind! Why ask?" out loud. Don't judge me. While writing this sentence, X is talking about how this place is magic. Now I realized that he can't read Dr. J's mind. In the Savage Lands, X could walk but not read minds anymore. Duh. Don't judge me?

Next time on Lost...

Dumb ol' Dr. J grabs the middle of a log straight out of the fire. Yea. That'll work and it won't burn you or anything. In the next shot he  has a different log on fire that allows him to find a waterfall with creepy dolls everywhere. Somehow, he will find his way back to shore and remember everything without a problem, even though it's night and he hasn't slept in 5 episodes.

Good news everyone! Chrissy the airline service agent gets to keep her job because it will never be discovered that she passed an unauthorized corpse through customs! I bet she got some weird looks from her cats when she said "Well that's a relief!" during the local nightly news report about the plane crash. I sure hope she finds happiness in her slightly above minimum wage job.

Hey, I was right! Dr. J found his way back and remembers the exact path to the doll infested waterfall. At night. Without a torch. Or a dad corpse, which is likely 10 feet away from where he was looking/Hulk-smashing. That'll be fun when they go get water at first light. Also TakenGirl has a new outfit.

The (currently) Only Black Guy watered the dog instead of his son. Good choice, Lost.

Key points:
The dog is fine.
Jack will now be called Dr. J
Locke will now be called X, or Professor
Boone is the actual name of Vampire Diaries, or VD for short (heh)
Dr. J's Daddy issues are resolved until they decide to not be again, because he couldn't get the closure of disposing of another corpse. Didn't we just discuss what happens to corpses last episode? With the corpse eating boars?

Current Theory:
Still sticking with the Sixth Sense thing, but now I'm adding that Dr. J is a mortician, because he apparently loves to dispose of corpses and has a decent amount of knowledge on doing so.